26 Weeks

Yesterday I crossed the 26 week mark, the last week of month 6 and last week of the second trimester. Now on to the third and final act.

I'm starting to realize just how silly "want" has become in my life. All the things I ever wanted I now have yet I'm still exactly the same as I was before I had them. I guess I need to remind myself to be satisfied with what I have this moment because wanting and getting will never change what's happening on the inside. Even if it does, it really only changes momentairily. Perhaps what I'm trying to say is I've got to stop living in the future and start living in the now. I know that sounds very Eckhart Tolle but more and more I'm finding it rings very true in my life.

I guess I better start figuring these things out before Harlow gets here. Speaking of Harlow, she danced my belly all day yesterday. I'm starting to see a pattern, it seems every other day is a very active one for her. I wonder if she'll keep the same pattern when she's born?

I'm beginning to find peace in my birth plan. I'm done listening to harsh criticism in regards to c-sections. This is the choice I have to make for my baby and for me, end of story. I can't risk breaking my back again and possibly not being able to carry my daughter after delivery. So I'll take a death breath, follow my doctor's orders and pray that every turns out exactly as it should.